Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
