I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
