We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
