We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
