He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
