I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
