I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
