I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
