Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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