Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
