I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
