I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize