This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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