Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
