Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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