i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
