Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
