my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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