You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
