Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
