if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
