The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize