once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
