Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
