never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
