What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
