im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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