I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
