Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
