Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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