Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
