You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
