Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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