i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
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