if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
