Me. At least after what I've been through.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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