if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she peed on how many people?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
