i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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