Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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