I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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