i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think weed is turning my hair brown
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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