Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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