I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I wish I only lived at night.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
