its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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