pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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