Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize