She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
