i don't like sucking hair
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
