Just took my morning after pill in the library
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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