I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Success! We fucked roommates!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
