Her vagina should come with caution tape.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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