im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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