dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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