Just cropdusted the office
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
