Its about making memories worth repressing
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
