Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
