i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
