Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
