When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
